Funny, Funny Stories From my days at Eden, P.D.

By Michael D. Martin, E.C.P.D. Retired

About the author...Michael Martin (pictured front row, far right in the 1981 photo) is a retired veteran of 25 years on the Eden City Police Department, and has penned a number of anecdotal writings recalling his experiences.

XXV. The Jolly Green Giant

     This is a follow-up story to "a bad night behind the Carolina Drug."    As I had previously recalled, When Detective Moretz and arrived on the scene behind Carolina Drug, Mike and Tim Kirkpatrick were busy rearranging the various components of the would-be burglar's face and he was glad to see us. We were his saviors and we interviewed him thru the night and he sang like a canary and gave up his partners in crime, who, by the way, had ran off and left him to the not so gentle persuasions of the Kirkpatrick brothers. He gave us the name of the author of this crime spree and signed a statement willingly when I told him that the Kirkpatricks wanted another round with him.


     The name escapes me now, after all these years but the next morning  Lt. Garnet Smart and I set off for the Queen City of Charlotte with a warrant in hand. We stopped in at the Charlotte PD and we were greeted warmly and treated well. The Chief of Detectives listened to our story and knew the individual we were seeking. We thought it nice when he assigned six carloads of Charlotte Detectives to assist us.


     We found the last known address of our suspect, who I must just refer to as "Joe Blow" I do not remember his name after all these years. We arrived at the address which was a small brick rancher in a residential neighborhood and saw a woman and a small child or two in the yard. We got out and inquired about Joe Blow. The woman swore she had not seen Joe in weeks. I bent over to a five year old and said "Hi fella"  he smiled and said Hi!, I asked where Joe Blow was and the kid said..."Oh, he is in the house asleep on the couch."...I learned long ago, children do not lie!


     Garnet and I walked into the house to find Joe Blow lying asleep on a cot, when I first saw him it dawned on me why Charlotte had given us six carloads of detectives for backup.....This guy was seven feet tall, a question we had forgotten to ask our snitch! He was about two hundred and fifty pounds and I thought......"This aint gonna be fun....this ain't gonna be fun at all."  But my boy was laying on the cot and his mid shins to his feet was hanging off the rear of the cot and his shoulders and head was hanging off the top end of the cot, I estimated the cot at six to six and a half foot long, I had to arrest the Jolly Green Giant.....Luckily his arms were positioned such that his wrists were close together and he awoke to hear my handcuffs clicking around his wrists. I said "Good morning sir! there is a judge in Eden North Carolina that would like a word with you! Garnet and I brought him out of the house in handcuffs, much to the amazement of Charlotte officers who did not think it could be done.

Michael D. Martin

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