Funny, Funny Stories From my days at Eden, P.D.

By Michael D. Martin, E.C.P.D. Retired

About the author...Michael Martin (pictured front row, far right in the 1981 photo) is a retired veteran of 25 years on the Eden City Police Department, and has penned a number of anecdotal writings recalling his experiences.

IX. Deputy Sheriff R. K. Barbour and Mr. Kidd 

Back when I graduated Morehead High School in '62 I went to work for Carol Jester Robert's dad, Bill Jester and we ran the Collinsville Shoe Center in the new Collinsville Shopping center....Well Naturally, in Collinsville, Virginia above Martinsville. Bill and I did real, real good but my poppa was a police officer and I wanted to be like poppa. My poppa was officer Charles Hunter who was with Chief Willie Jim Robertson when he was killed. I grew up listening to the tales of the shootout that happened in 1930.

While working at "The Shoe Center" I had a desire for more action and I met Henry County Deputy Sheriff R. K. Barbour. Everyone called him "Dick" he was six foot four and over three hundred pounds and when he had his uniform on, he looked like a big brown wall coming at you. Dick was one of the nicest guys I ever met, he loved a joke and would go to some lengths to pull off a joke.


     Back then there was no such thing as air conditioning in police cars or public offices, The Henry county Sheriff's Department was in the old County Building on the square in Martinsville and to get good output, the dispatcher's office was on the top floor of the building. There was a Mr. Kidd who was the dispatcher for Henry County. His office and radio was on the top level of the building. One day, Dick Barbour and Vic Flannigan were working and nothing was going on and they were in Kidd's office, all sweating when Dick said.."I am going down on the square and get something cool to drink" and Mr Kidd said "bring me some lemonade back"  Dick went to Wickline drug and got a drink and ordered a quart of lemonade for Mr. Kidd and when he was waiting for it to be made, he saw a small bottle labeled "lemon flavored phosphate soda...Dick asked the druggist.."What is that?" the druggist assured him that it was the strongest laxative on the market. It was only .49 cents, Dick said, give me a bottle!!! 

     Once out of the drugstore, Dick poured the lemon flavored phosphate soda into the quart of lemonade and took it to Mr. Kidd. Kidd drank the first glass of lemonade while Dick told Flannigan what he had done. After a while, Mr. Kidd got to moving around on his chair and starting looking at the bathroom door, Flannigan went into the bathroom and sat down. Mr. Kidd finally yelled at Flannigan to get out of there, someone else had to use the john!!!   Flannigan took the roll of toilet paper and tucked it into his arm and came out as Mr. Kidd ran past find there was no toilet paper!...Kidd came out cussing and had to run to the basement to get toilet paper....he made it almost all the way back, but messed his britches before he made it.


     Mr. Kidd waltzed around and cleaned himself. He had a clean uniform hanging on the inside of the bathroom door, which he put on, minus underwear. he went to the radio and sat down and messed himself again. Kidd called his wife and told her to come get him and bring a change of clothes, which she did. Kidd put on his clean clothes and told the fellas that he was sick and was going home. He and his wife got to the car, he got in and messed himself again in the car. Barbour and Flannigan were holding each other up laughing so hard. Dick said Mr. Kidd did not come back to work for four days........and he looked thin.

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